Oh , and BTW

Don't ever F*** with me . just sayin :)

Dear Peach

He bought me a house.the one i wanted and couldnt live without . He's taking me to Jamaica , somewhere I've always wanted to go .He bought a rock , the sucker is huge .but mostly he loves me like no one ever has.except maybe you.I miss you but i am happy . I wish you were here , I wish we could celebrate together .I'll see you tomorrow night , watch for you in the sky ...always in my heart Clair , always thinking of you .

76 days or 2 months and 15 days ....

my vows to you are finally done . I didnt think i HAD it in me .I've been blocked for so long .I hope you love them as much as I love you ...but first a letter ... My dearest John, I have been having a problem writing my vows and decided that perhaps a letter might help me get my thoughts in order. I’ve always written , stories ,poems , even when I didn’t know how to write I would make up little plays in my head and enlist the neighbourhood kids to act them out with me .it’s always come very naturally to me this writing thing. Now it seems I can’t just say what I mean. I have the words; they’re just not stringing themselves together. My vows may well be the most important words I ever write. They need to be perfect; they need to impart how very much I am thankful to have you in my life, how joyful I am to be loved by you. Therein lays my problem. The words I give to you, my vows, in my mind need to be EPIC. You deserve that, I want you to feel profoundly loved, to truly understand what it is I feel and what it is that you and your love have given me. You are my strength. I have had to be strong my entire life. It’s isn’t fun to always be the one struggling to stay afloat in the abyss that has been my life. And though my mind has a way of taking me to the darkest places the reality is that my life for many years was little more than a rusted out cage. You freed me, with your kindness and quiet grace, patience and understanding. You coaxed a very lonely, tired and scared little bird out of her prison and into the world …your love and the ease in which you give it helps me to fly on my own and I will always fly home to you. I wish more people could see you the way I do , know you and love you and celebrate who you are as I do every time I look at you. The beauty of you is that you are simply an honest, kind and giving person. if I believed that each of us had a soul I would say that yours is the quite possibly the purest and most filled with light I have ever met .you shine so brightly and beautifully that sometimes I wonder what exactly it was that someone like me , who is so broken ,did do deserve your beauty and light. I don’t care really , in those moments when you are smiling at me and your eyes sparkle like they’ve been star struck , I forgive myself for feeling greedy .greedy for wanting every smile , every laugh , every soft kiss to be all mine , forever . I am so unbelievably happy that I found you, that we found each other. I have waited my entire life for you .I was beginning to think that you didn’t exist. that good men , warm , gentle , loving men were figments of wildly imagined stories …fairytales…and then it occurred to me .you are my fairytale , I couldn’t have written a better one myself and I guess that’s the point . Fairytales can exist, But only if you have the right someone to write them with. I hope one day we can look back at our lives together with the same awe and wonder as we did when we first began “writing” our fairytale. I for one know that dreams can come true, and that fairy tales are real .it is a rare precious gift you have given the little girl that lives inside me. And if you are ever unsure just ask me what the most wonderful gift I’ve been given is. The answer will always be … You. Thank you. It’s the most under rated and under used phrase there is .but when I say it to you, it means so much more. It means I love you, I value you, I honour you, I rejoice in you and I praise you. I need to finish my vows. I’ve said what I needed to and I can finally finish. I hope you will love them and I hope they will tell you just how deeply and truly that I love you. Yours forever, for always and happily ever after, Rebecca ............................................................................................................................................................................................... My sweet Shelly , I promise to hold your hand in times of joy , but especially in times of sorrow I promise to celebrate the person you are and all the quirks that make you distinctly you I promise to comfort and support you in your times of need and to make sure you always feel blessed. I promise to nurture and protect your heart , mind and spirit , to cheer you in times of triumph and hold you up when you feel defeated. I promise to make our home a place of beauty , peace and calm , while maintaining the boisterous laugher and silly joy that has come to define our love and our blended family I promise to never throw out your 15 year old sweaters and to buy you new ones should the need arise I promise to kiss you every time like it was the first time , and to always hug you like I never want to let go . From this day forward I promise to love you , as if each day with you was my last because you are more than just the love of my life , more than just my best friend , you are my thousand years. I promise to keep our song in my heart and sing it back to you if you ever forget .

Sur ta photo un peu blême Je nous voyais en tandem Ta main Darlin´ Dans la mienne Sous tes allures un peu mondaines Et tes manières à l´ancienne Qui sait Darlin´ Qui tu aimes {Refrain:} Darlin´ Dans ta ville américaine Darlin´ Tu m´as mis en quarantaine Darlin´ Et quand tu m´entraînes Je ne suis Darlin´ Plus le même T´auras tout fait pour me plaire Tu fais monter les enchères Dis-moi Darlin, Où ça nous mène Pourquoi tant de mise en scène Et pourquoi jouer les sirènes Tu sais Darlin´ C´est pas la peine Je pensais bien tout savoir sur L´amour et ses rengaines Et je me croyais tellement sûr de moi Mais ces yeux-là que tu promènes Sur moi comme des gestes obscènes Tu le vois bien Darlin´ que tu me gênes. Sur ta photo un peu blême Je nous voyais en tandem Ta main Darlin´ Dans la mienne Sous tes allures un peu mondaines Et tes manières à l´ancienne Qui sait Darlin´ Qui tu aimes Qui sait Darlin´ Si tu m´aimes Qui sait Darlin´ Qui tu aimes...

127 or 4 and 7

My passport is all ready for it's first stamp.127 days to go.I am the happiest I've ever been. why do I miss you B ? I admit in my last contact with S I was harsh ( sorry ) but ....well maybe I am a bit pathetic , tender hearted as Dr. Cooper always says . but in my heart you're still my friend . and I miss you . I miss your supportive unflinching smart as a whip way you always made me feel like I was OK.you made things bearable when Clair died . no closure I suppose, at least not for me . I miss having you in my corner and now everything is round , which , would be a good thing except i feel I am going in circles , searching , chasing shadows of those just out of reach. I think of you and sigh . wonder if you can still feel it.Friendships , real ones are hard to come by . Sometimes I think I was more friend than you were . I miss you , think of you often.Tired of having regrets and wish i could just keep my eyes forward , instead of fighting the urge to glance back at the shadows fading into mist. Y/M/U it was nice while it lasted.thanks for everything and nothing