Eulogy



Dear Grandma,

I decided to write you a letter and as I clicked the enter key a prompt came up and Microsoft Word asked if I wanted help writing this note to you.I clicked yes and the irony of it hit me like a brick. a cold grey window popped up on my screen and asked for your name , I felt the bitter sting of tears welling up in my eyes.I typed your name ,Dorothy Grace Peppard. My Amazing Grace. In the address line I wrote “Heaven” and started to cry.

My computer asked me if I wanted more help composing this letter .I found myself asking it for more time,more time with you so I didn’t have write and rewrite and rewrite again a eulogy that was and is not coming the way I hoped.I’m a writer Gram , its what I do.and as I wrote the memories kept fogging over , the words just out of reach and it bothers me .



I miss your Pillsbury laugh

I miss the hugs you gave freely

I miss the childlike innocence that sparkled in your brown and blue eyes.

I miss how you always knew the exact thing to say

I miss your stories

I miss playing hand and foot

I miss your euphemisms and worry that , now that youre gone will they fade away too?



Someone said that you were the glue that stuck our family together.I worry that in your absence we will all fall to the wayside ,slowly ungluing and the sense of family and tradition that you instilled in me , will , like my memories, grow foggy and just out of reach.



I need to tell you , how much I learned from you ,how much your actions and examples taught me,I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before , it just always seemed like you would be here forever and that there would always be time.



I learned from you that everyone is deserving of love.regardless of race , orientation or circumstance .



I learned that its okay to laugh at yourself and that it didn’t matter if you couldn’t do some things as good as others.just do your best .



I learned that forgivness is next to godliness but forgetting was a sin against yourself.



I learned from you that it didn’t matter that we weren’t your biological grandchildren, that we were gods children and so worthy of all your love and respect. And that Family no matter how extended or distant or removed was to be celebrated , given a comfy chair and doted over.



And the most important thing I learned, was to always give kindness freely and with love, because you never know how much the other person truly needed it.



Reflecting now, on your life and the things you went through, it always seemed to me that nothing could spoil the childlike innocence inside you , how you refused to believe the worst in others until you saw it firsthand. Some would say that was naivety but I always thought it was because of your faith in god .



You are my Grandma ,you are my friend ,you are the little voice in my head that tells me to stop and turn around , and put my extra change in the salvation army Christmas cheer , because there are others out there far worse off than myself .



The most comforting thing in the entire world is knowing you loved me and were proud of everything I did ,and when you weren’t you loved and accepted me anyway and prayed harder .



Thank you , for loving me of the gifts you’ve ever given me , your love was the most precious of all.



So goodbye for now , but not for good



Love always,

Beckyrebecca



PS . I love you more than Turtles.